Macedonian Humour

[George S.]

da a good one ha ha ha

[DedoAleko]

Во грција никаде не се паднала паричката,немале за во лебот :-)))

[DedoAleko]

Кумановски виц

У теретану прашуе дечко инструктора:
- Слушај, сакам да фату добру женску... Од коју машину да почну?
- Од банкомат.

[Gocka]

Za Amerikancite ili za Rusite

Si odel eden albanec po carsija, koga go zastavit eden makedonec i mu vikat

"decko ela ovde da te prasam nesto"

albanecov mu velit "so be so sakas".

Makedonecov mu velit "ela samo da te prasam edno prasajne"

i dobro albanecot odit i mu velit "sto".

Makedonecov go prasvit "znacit za koj si, za Amerikancite ili za Rusite"

Albanecov bez da razmislit mu velit "pa za Amerikancite normalno".

Nasiov go gledat i mu velit "AHA za Amerikancite si ah?"

go grabat albanecot so boksot po nos "gjubre edno smrdeno" go gazit pod nodze, lom go prajt i si odit doma nasiot.

Epa ete drugiot den nasiov go gledat na daleku pak istiot Albanec po carsija se setat.

Pak mu vikat "abe drugar kaj si be, sedi tuka ce dojda da te prasa nesto"

Go gledat albanecov kaj so idat Makedonecov i se prajt demek ne go slusat na nasiov i se trudit da izbegat ama nisto nasiov go stigvit i mu velit

"abe drugar kaj ojs so se brzas"

albanecov celiot se treperit i mu velit "so be so sakas ne sum pojke za amerikancite".

Nasiov mu velit "epa za koj si setne?"

Albanecov velit so siguren glas " pa za Rusite za koj drug"

Nasiov " Za RUSITE? mamiceto tvoje sega ke vidis", bam pak po nosot abe so pak go gazit pod nodze skoro do smrt.

I ete naredniot den albanecov si ojt po carsija so stakite celiot so gipsoj i so sinici. Po poleka si ojt na sekoj cos zastanvit i se pulit dan idat toj Makedonecot.

I albanecot siguren deka go nemat na nasiov si vlegvit vo edna slatkara. I ko ke vlezit im go precekvit edna zenskata so rabotit na kasa i mu velit dobar den gospodine povelete.

Albanecov celiot iznerviran radi cotekot so go dobi

i velit na visok i nervozen glas na zenskata "DAJ MI EDNO PARCE BAKLAVA"

sega si se prajt mnogu golem mas.

Ko mu velit zenskava " sakas turska ili grcka?

Albanecov "mm mm molimte?"

Zenskava "turska ili grcka?"

Albanecov se topit si velit samiot "lele so ce pravam sega",

Pocvit da treperit i velit "d dd d daj eden ekler"

[DedoAleko]

Оди маж кај психолог и вели:
- Сè во мојот живот е прекрасно, но ми недостасуваат силни чувства. Како да си го качам адреналинот? Се обидов со сè - скокање со падобран, банџи скокање, подводно пливање. Сакам нешто ново.
- Фатете си љубовница.
- Имам три, не помага.
- Тогаш кажете ѝ на жена ти...

[George S.]

very funny DA ha ha ha ha.

[DedoAleko]

Оди Блажо во ресторан во Франција и нарачува:
-Ве молам, пар Ла Кубаси и Ла Вино..
Му носи келнерот и Блажо окезен дека го разбрале, а келнеров му вика:
-Ќе јадеше ти Ла Кур, да не бев јас од Ла Пробиштип!

[The LION will ROAR]

Motorbike Ramp Fail - Skapan C*nt!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1noO-Q6HS9E

listen to the Macedonians...hahahaha too funny..


question to the admins.. why doesn't the youtube sometimes come up..?

[Phoenix]

Socio-Economics Explained through 2 Cows



SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.


COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows..

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves … According to the handbook
The cows have actually been given to the EU to help the Greek economy …
They are just ordinary cows

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows..
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy….
You also no longer have schools, hospitals, mosques, factories or farms
You start fields of opium poppies to fill the gap left by Afghanistan

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Both are Halaal slaughtered and sold at exhorbitant prices on the local market.


A GREEK CORPORATION

You have the two cows loaned by Germany.
You borrow against the cows from the Germans
You kill the cows and make souvlaki
You can’t pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
You can’t pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
You can’t pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
You can’t pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money

[The LION will ROAR]

A Greek, a Portuguese and a Italian ask God when their countries' debts will be paid off. God says, “In 100 years for Portugal and in 150 years for Italy .” Disappointed, they say: “But, we’ll be dead by then.” When the Greek asks..what about Greece..?, God replies, “I don't know — I'll be dead by then....” BAAHHHHH

[The LION will ROAR]

Merry crisis Greece

[George S.]

the more the merrier.& a unhappy new year.

[lavce pelagonski]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_Z_y3y5yqDQ

[lavce pelagonski]

[Nexus]

They look stupid ...