Macedonian Humour

[The LION will ROAR]

EFFIE awakes during the night to find that her husband STRAVOS is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him Sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of Turkish coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches As he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. 'What's
The matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you Down here at this time of night? STRAVOS The husband looks up from his Turkish coffee,
'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'. She can't believe he has Remembered and starts to tear up. The husband continues, 'Do you Remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly. Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking That her husband is so caring and sensitive. 'Yes, I do' she replies. The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember
When your father caught us in Ban next to the sheep?' 'Yes, I
Remember said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The Husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my Face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter MALAKA or I will send you to prison For 20 years?' 'I remember that, too' she replied softly. He wiped Another tear from his cheek and said 'I would have gotten out today.'

[Bratot]

Why the Greeks don't like the song "Makedonsko devojche" (Macedonian girl)?

First, they don't like the "Macedonian" and
second, they don't like the girls.

[lavce pelagonski]

Why the Greeks don't like the song "Makedonsko devojche" (Macedonian girl)?

First, they don't like the "Macedonian" and
second, they don't like the girls.

LOL this cracked me up.

[julie]

I love this thread, absolutely awesome, keep it coming guys

[The LION will ROAR]

Q. Why do Greek men want to marry virgins?
A. They can't stand criticism.

Q.What's the most useless thing on a woman?
A. A Greek

Q. how can you tell the greek men from the greek boys?
A: a crow bar

Q.Why did the little Greek boy run away from home?
A.He didn't like the way he was being reared.

Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Greece?
A: They don't want to wear out the Donkey

Q. Why do Greeks become homosexual
A. After seeing a greek woman naked.

Q. Did you hear about the two gay greek guys that had an argument in the bar?
A. They went outside to exchange blows

Q. What does a Greek say after sex?
A. Thanks Guys.

Q.What does a greek and an ambulance have in common?
A. They both get loaded from the rear and go WHOO! WHOO!

Q. Did you hear about the Greek Gay magician?
A. He vanished with a poof!

Q. Did you hear about the two Greek Gay judges?
A. They tried each other!
Q. Did you hear about the two Gay Greeks who were in a telephone box?
A. They were trying to ring each other!

[The LION will ROAR]

A Macedonian guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, “How long before I
can get a haircut?”
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2
hours.”
The guy left. A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door
and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?”
The barber looked around at the shop and said, “About 3 hours.”
The guy left. A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and
asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?”
The barber looked around the shop and said, “About an hour and half.”
The guy left. The barber turned to a friend and said, “Hey, Bill, do me
a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long
he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn’t ever come back.”
A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, “So where does that guy go when he leaves?”
Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, “Your house.”

[The LION will ROAR]

Three Macedonians and three Greeks are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Greeks each buy tickets and watch as the three Macedonians buy only a single ticket.
“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks a Greek. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers the Macedonian
They all board the train. The Greeks take their respective seats but all three Macedonians cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Greeks saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the Greeks decide to copy the Macedonians (as they always do) on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Macedonians don’t buy a ticket at all.
“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” asks one perplexed Greek. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers one of the Macedonians.
When they board the train the three Greeks cram into a restroom and the three Macedonians cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Macedonians leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Greeks are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please…”

[The LION will ROAR]

A Greek was trying to sell his old car. He was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.
One day, he told his problem to a Albanian freind he worked with at a Gay bar. The Albanian told him, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”
“That doesn’t matter,” replied the Greek, “if I can only sell the car.”
“Okay,” said the Albanian . “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will ‘fix it’. Then you shouldn’t have a problem anymore trying to sell your car.”
The following weekend, the Greek made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the Albanian asked the Greek, “Did you sell your car?”
“No,” replied the Greek, “Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!”

[The LION will ROAR]

A Greek appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates
St. Peter asked, "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?"
"Well, I can only think of one thing, that would probably be worthwhile" The Greek said.
I came across a group of Macedonians, and told them that they were Greek
St. Peter asked, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago..."

[George S.]

what a laugh the jokes are funny.

[Prolet]

The Lion Will Roar, Here is a good one

YouTube - Protestiram protiv Makedonski kompjuter.avi

[The LION will ROAR]

A very confident Macedonian walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies, “I was just given this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
The Macedonian explains, ” It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties…”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I’m wearing panties!”
The Macedonian smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”

[The LION will ROAR]

A Greeks and Macedonian decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The Greek went in to see the counselor, who told him to take Math, History(lol), and logic.
“What’s logic?” the Greek asked.
The professor answered, “Let me give you an example. Do you live in Greece?”
“I sure do.”
“Then I can assume, using logic, that you speak Greek,” replied the professor.
“That’s real good!” said the Greek.
The professor continued, “Logic will also tell me that since you live in Greece, you speak Greek.”
Impressed, the Greek said, “Amazing!”
“And since you live and speak Greek, logic dictates that you are Greek.”
“ This is incredible!”
The Greek was catching on.
“Finally, since you are Greek, logically I can assume that you are Related to the Ancient Greeks,” said the professor.
“You’re absolutely right! Why that’s the most fascinatin’ thing I ever heard! I cain’t wait to take that logic class!”
The Greek, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where the Macedonian was still waiting.
“So what classes are ya takin’?” asked the Macedonian.
“Math, History, and logic!” replied the Greek.
“What in tarnation is logic?” asked the Macedonian.
“Let me give you an example. Do you live in Greece?” asked the Greek.
“Yes,” the Macedonian replied.
“Well You’re Greek then?”

[George S.]

Lion some of these jokes had me in stiches they are trully great keep em coming.

[The LION will ROAR]

Americans are NOT stupid