Macedonian Humour

[Commander Bond]

Q. Why don’t greek people kill frogs?

A. Because it’s their national bird.

[Commander Bond]

A greek man was taking a flight on a commercial airliner. The airliner had 4 engines, which is quite normal. About an hour into the flight, a loud BOOM occurred.

The flight attendant came over the intercom and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have blown an engine, but there is no need to worry. We still have three engines, I repeat, we still have three engines."

Everyone stayed calm.

About another hour later, another boom.

The flight attendant comes over the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have blown another engine, but there is no need to worry! We still have two more engines to go!"

The people stayed calm.

An hour later, the same situation. Now only one engine remained.

Then, the greek man stood up and said outloud, "Man! If this keeps up, we could be up here all day!"

[Commander Bond]

Have you heard about the greek abortion clinic?

There’s a 12-month waiting list.

[Commander Bond]

Q.What’s the highest position in the Greek Navy?
A.Rear Admiral

[Commander Bond]

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GREEK

1. You get to shout about your culture although the only real culture most Greeks have is what is growing between their toes.
2. The police are even more corrupt than the criminals they are supposed to be chasing.
3. You can blow your nose in the street by pinching it between the thumb and forefinger and trumpeting forth without everyone around retching their stomach contents up at the sight.
4. Old women can sport moustaches.
5. Young women can sport moustaches.
6. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly bear and not get put in a zoo.
7. You get to call the bouzouki a musical instrument when the rest of the world sees it as an instrument of torture.
8. You are the only nation to have lost its marbles and still wants to let everyone else around the world know about it.
9. Ridiculous bureaucracy.
10. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos.

[Commander Bond]

A Macedonian man heads for home after spending the whole night in a bar drinking. He was carrying a little bottle of rakija in the left shirt pocket just in case. Suddenly, a robber appears and threatens him with a gun. The Macedonian man gets scared, and the attacker shoots, aiming towards his heart, and then runs away.
The Macedonian man falls down, puts his hand on his left pocket and feels something wet. He cries, ‘’Oh my God! I hope it’s blood!’’ ’

[Commander Bond]

Three men were in a sauna. An Italian, a German, and a Greek.

Suddenly, they heard a beeping noise. The Italian guy pushed a few buttons on his hand and then told the others that he had a chip installed in his hand to allow him to be paged.

Then, they heard a ring and the German man pushed a button on his hand and put his hand up to his ear and carried a conversation.

After pressing another button on his hand the German man said that he had a chip installed in his hand to allow him to receive calls.

The Greek man excuses himself to use the bathroom.

He comes back, with a piece of toilet paper trailing from his butt.

The other men laugh and point. The Greek man cranes his neck around to look.

He says, "Wow! I must have gotten a fax!"

[Commander Bond]

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman, 2 French men and 1 French woman, 2 German men and 1 German woman, 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman, 2 English men and 1 English woman, 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman, 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman, 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman, 2 New Zealander men and 1 New Zealander woman, 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman, 2 American men and 1 American woman. One month later, the following things have occurred….
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together, having loads of sex.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman, who called them both “bloody wankers” and is checking out all the other men.
Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.
The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.
The American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinions and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is mproving. The two American men have committed suicide.

[The LION will ROAR]

Q. What is the difference between a Greek and a Thief?
A. Not much! But the thief will plie Guilty

[The LION will ROAR]

Q.How many Greek politicians are needed to change a bulb?
A. Two. One to change it and one to change it again.

[The LION will ROAR]

Q: How does a Greek "high-5"?
A: Smacks themselves on their forehead.

[The LION will ROAR]

Q. What do Greeks do after they die?
A. still lie

[Dimko-piperkata]

nothing to do with mk but anyhow....

Hitler is looking for a parking spot.

YouTube - Hitler is looking for a parking spot.

[Risto the Great]

He did have a sensitive side after all .... lol.

[osiris]

i first saw this clip in relation to hitlers reaction to geelongs grand final loss, it was hilarious, since then i have seen it many times, and i am amzed at the acting, whoever he is he is one hell of an actor, it must be a mazing film.

but thats not why i am posting, this is from a post at maknews isnt this the first post one this thread.


A large group of Greek soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a Hill. "One Macedonian Soldier is better than ten Greeks!"
The Greek commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the Hill,where upon a gun battle breaks and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out "One Macedonian Soldier is better than one hundred Greeks!"
Furious, the Greek commander sends his next best 100 troops over the Hill and instantly a huge firefight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The Macedonian voice calls out again "One Macedonian Soldier is better than one thousand Greeks!"
The enraged Greek Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the Hill. Cannons, rockets and machine guns ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Greek fighter crawls
back over the Hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don`t send anymore men, it`s a trap. There`s two of them!"