Dating Macedonian Women

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  • Solun
    Member
    • Sep 2012
    • 166

    #16
    Originally posted by Gocka View Post
    Macedonian women are part of the problem not so much because they don't want to be stereotypical housewives, but because they more readily do things like stop speaking Macedonian, stop socializing with other Macedonians, and shy away from their traditional customs and culture. I think a lot of it is due to a perception of Macedonianism as inferior and outdated. Macedonian men are much more likely at least in the USA, to use Macedonian as their primary language, and keep Macedonian friends. Just look at this forum from it's inception, how many female members, 5 ever? I've never met a Macedonian girl who cares about history, politics, or nationalism. That has to mean something, and it goes far beyond gender politics.

    Just as our culture has raised a bunch of mama's boys, it had also raised a bunch of eniteled princesses.
    Gocka I'm curious to know at what age you emigrated to the USA?

    Comment

    • Solun
      Member
      • Sep 2012
      • 166

      #17
      Originally posted by Starling View Post
      Well I was raised in a french community and was never told where I could find and socialize with Macedonians nor taught more than a few Macedonian words, my brother doesn't know shit or give a shit and that's pretty much my dad's fault for leaving us to manage on our own past "you have Macedonian heritage" and a few vague details on the basics. Kinda hard to keep the culture alive when you have to teach it to yourself. I didn't get the impression my uncles did much either but I haven't seen them in years. Basically I know from experience that there's some negligence going on with Macedonian men too. I have an aunt I hear is fairly active in the Macedonian community but family drama and lack of contact information's kept me from really knowing much of my dad's side of the family and it's not like I have a lot of direct relatives there to begin with.

      Now, just because my personal experience is with my mostly male relatives not doing much doesn't mean I'd just declare it a problem with men and call it a day. A single person's experience is limited and not really a big enough sample pool to get reliable statistics out of. Even if we could chart out that women do have as high a rate of not caring about Macedonian culture as assumed we'd be better off treating it like a general community problem than a gender one as it's applicable to everyone and a problem that goes beyond gender even if the stats vary along them. So basically, how do we get more Macedonians to care about their culture and heritage than the ones who currently do? That seems to be the root problem here.
      Reading your story full credit to you for the interest you have shown in your heritage

      Comment

      • Pelagonija
        Member
        • Mar 2017
        • 533

        #18
        Originally posted by Gocka View Post
        You are right, it is a thing. Same thing in NJ, Macedonian women don't date Macedonian men. Here is why.

        Macedonian men are mama's boys, they are childish and are used to their mom's cooking, cleaning, doing their laundry, picking up after them.

        Macedonian men tend to be very rude, cocky and overly macho types. They don't have respect for women.

        Macedonian women in the USA, tend to be well educated, more educated then the men actually. So how many well educated women are going to want to date, childish, rude uneducated men?

        Then you have the gossip factor. If they date Macedonian men, everyone will know about it. If they date out of Macedonian circles they can keep relationships hidden.


        So if you want to date a Macedonian woman, you have to overcome those predisposition they have about Macedonian men. If you are persistent and put your best foot forward, you should be able to overcome them. Just don't act like their fathers and you should be ok.
        Geez Gocka loves to generalise.. mate if you weren't mummy's boy then why did you not marry a us macedonian or a super hot Latina with attitude rather than run off to mkd to marry a poor Village girl?

        Mate reading your threads you have nothing but hatred and contempt for your fellow Macedonians and a strong tint of superiority. You are product of the system you despise, don't think somehow you miraculously came out superior and above all. I know many persons who considered themselves patriotic until they bagged the prize and got married overseas, once they got married all the sudden they lost interest in the motherland.. and become negative.. sounds familiar..?

        Besides with divorce rates, Infidelity and lack of interest in the family life these days I would encourage people to find love regardless of ethnicity and pursue like minded partners.

        Mate ultimately you have to let go.. you are just wasting your time on this forum.if looking for social media friends group start a Facebook page..
        Last edited by Pelagonija; 12-27-2017, 07:01 AM.

        Comment

        • mac4life2
          Junior Member
          • Mar 2013
          • 7

          #19
          I'm not going to lie, I am truly grateful you all gave me great advice about this. I have had to deal four Macedonian women at home in my community I tried dating. All of them date white Americans and/or Hispanics. It goes to show as some of you put it, they are entitled princess jackasses. I would love for you guys to keep giving me advice, but I will take some of your guys advice, especially the fact to find a women who would be interested in Macedonian culture. I will find love before heritage, I thank you all for that piece of advice. I will follow love within my heart. My biggest problem is I have to deal with feminist type of women, so finding a real Macedonian women or a women who wants to be like a Macedonian women is pretty hard in this society of America. Therefore, I will resort to finding a women who will and want to be a Macedonian women to the kids I want to have, mostly boys(so I can keep the Macedonian bloodline going). Again thank you all for helping me on this, I've been away from Chicago and any Macedonian community for almost 3 years now being in the Active US Army, and 9 months of that was being deployed overseas, so I could not find any time to date/nor have the energy to constantly look for a Macedonian wife in society. So when I thought about this forum, I decided to reactivate this account. It means alot that I can relate to people like myself who love being Macedonian, being prideful of being Macedonian, people who speak Macedonian, who know our culture, who know our traditions, and foremost, understand the struggles of being a Macedonian. I would to keep telling you all to keep giving me advice. I am so glad you guys give me a lot of information. I was just going to be stupid at some point and go to Macedonia to find a women like my dad suggested. I don't understand, I guess it's true about Macedonian women, they don't care about being Macedonian. They'd care less about their upbringing. It's pretty common I guess. Again, thank you all my friends I'll still keep reading this form. Also I'd like to say overall, I will keep continuing to find a women who respects our culture, tradition, and language. I really do appreciate all the advice from all of you, we are a strong group of people. Lets keep carrying ourselves like our previous generations have kept going.
          Last edited by mac4life2; 12-27-2017, 07:04 AM.

          Comment

          • Starling
            Member
            • Sep 2017
            • 153

            #20
            Can you clarify if they actually said or did anything beyond not want to date you to be called entitled princesses? Because that kind of rhetoric sounds a lot like the kind of rhetoric I've heard women complain about in men who feel entitled to their affections.

            Like, sometimes you just find someone you like who isn't the same ethnicity as you. It happens. Patriarchal stuff like valuing men over women based on preconceptions like that is exactly the sort of thing that would drive women away. It could very well be that a number of them just don't like those notions and getting distant from the culture was just an unintended by-product of that due not being able to socialize with other Macedonians as much as a result.

            If someone wanting to date me said stuff like this I wouldn't give a damn if they could help me preserve my heritage because such a person wouldn't really give the impression of caring about me as a person, which is the recipe for a bad relationship all around. I think you should all re-examine the way you're approaching the issue and consider your part in it.

            Comment

            • Risto the Great
              Senior Member
              • Sep 2008
              • 15658

              #21
              It's refreshing to have a female perspective here. But it should also be evident how the role of men in society is being engineered nowadays. Men are mocked in the media tirelessly. Meanwhile vacuous Kardashian mentality thrives. Interesting times to find a decent wife.
              Risto the Great
              MACEDONIA:ANHEDONIA
              "Holding my breath for the revolution."

              Hey, I wrote a bestseller. Check it out: www.ren-shen.com

              Comment

              • Gocka
                Senior Member
                • Dec 2012
                • 2306

                #22
                I do have a lot of contempt for my fellow Macedonians, what are we doing as people for me to be proud of. Call it superiority, call it what ever you want, I stand by my judgments, which come from countless interactions with the very people I am judging. Due to unfortunate circumstances I grew up differently, there was no time to be a mama's boy. I married who I married by chance not by plan. You have shown your true cowardice on multiple occasions trying to get under my skin by insulting my wife. You are a coward of the highest order, and have more than once referenced intelligence and superiority, my friend that is your own insecurity showing through. You are probably a pathetic lonely human being who gets his jollies by trolling over the internet. I've been happily married for 8 years and have no lost my ambition for these matters, unlike you I actually try and do something about it. Also its a shame that you aren't married, I cant imagine why. Don't worry though its easier now more than ever to live alone you will make it. Trust me if anyone is wasting their time here its you. As I've told you before you provide absolutely no value what so ever. Now run along and let the grown ups have a decent conversation. Grow up and maybe you won't be so lonely.

                You can say what ever you want form now on. You are not worth the minimal exertions of key strokes. Insult me, my wife, what ever else that pathetic excuse for a brain can come up with. All I can say to you is pray that we never cross paths.

                Merry Christmas, Happy New Years. From me and the Wife.

                Originally posted by Pelagonija View Post
                Geez Gocka loves to generalise.. mate if you weren't mummy's boy then why did you not marry a us macedonian or a super hot Latina with attitude rather than run off to mkd to marry a poor Village girl?

                Mate reading your threads you have nothing but hatred and contempt for your fellow Macedonians and a strong tint of superiority. You are product of the system you despise, don't think somehow you miraculously came out superior and above all. I know many persons who considered themselves patriotic until they bagged the prize and got married overseas, once they got married all the sudden they lost interest in the motherland.. and become negative.. sounds familiar..?

                Besides with divorce rates, Infidelity and lack of interest in the family life these days I would encourage people to find love regardless of ethnicity and pursue like minded partners.

                Mate ultimately you have to let go.. you are just wasting your time on this forum.if looking for social media friends group start a Facebook page..

                Comment

                • Gocka
                  Senior Member
                  • Dec 2012
                  • 2306

                  #23
                  About 11 iirc

                  Originally posted by Solun View Post
                  Gocka I'm curious to know at what age you emigrated to the USA?

                  Comment

                  • Starling
                    Member
                    • Sep 2017
                    • 153

                    #24
                    Originally posted by Risto the Great View Post
                    It's refreshing to have a female perspective here. But it should also be evident how the role of men in society is being engineered nowadays. Men are mocked in the media tirelessly. Meanwhile vacuous Kardashian mentality thrives. Interesting times to find a decent wife.
                    Women hate the Kardashians too. They're more an example of classism and how it affects media than what the average middle-class woman cares about. Of course, there won't be a middle class for much longer if the economy keeps going the way it is.

                    Also the mockery tends to be about entitlement more than anything. Pretty much the only times I've seen any was in relation to misogynistic comments. People are finally starting to really do something about the rampant sexual harassment and abuse of power in places like hollywood and to be honest mockery isn't really that notable when faced with potential ostracization and your career getting ruined if you don't accede to every demand of some ass in a suit. Women have actually received death threats just for trying to exist in male dominated circles or speaking out against things they've had to deal with. There are entire forums dedicated to hating women and strategizing on how to best make them fear for their lives, stalk them and so on. Women by contrast mostly express disdain for men by how much they want to get away from the ones who are like that and surround themselves in women who will look out for their wellbeing. One is actively seeking to harm while the other just wants a safe and comfortable environment.

                    As you presumably know, years of double standards and oppression tends to wear down people's patience or willingness to broach the subject politely. You see it in pretty much any group that's been through that kind of thing. It's pretty easy for people outside of the specific group to fall into the trap that they're personally being attacked by general statements about the demographic that's harmed them and unconscious biases tend to push them to justify ignoring those problems or victim blaming to make it their fault instead. The thing is, those general statements refer to a specific type of person whose main defining feature is belonging to that demographic but doesn't represent the entirety of it because people don't have time to list long litanies of all the different types of people within that demographic who are part of the problem and which ones aren't whenever they try to talk about discriminatory behaviour. It's a bit like when people refer to a country's population but actually mean its government. You're not expected to believe the entire population is homogeneous and thinks the same way as the government even if a large number of them can be proven to. Most countries also have a sizable population that disapproves of their government, especially if their voting system is broken or shady things happened during the election.

                    Comment

                    • Karposh
                      Member
                      • Aug 2015
                      • 863

                      #25
                      Originally posted by Gocka View Post
                      That's a whole different matter.

                      What I mean is dont be like

                      "Kurvo kaj mi e jadejneto"
                      Gocka, I tried really hard to ignore the above but Pelagonija's latest reply to you spurred me on a bit to call you out on this one. Do you ever pause and think about what you say before you post? Seriously, who in their right mind calls their missus a “kurva”. I don't know what you have witnessed in your family or circle of friends but in my family, or any other Macedonian family I know, if you called the mother of your children a “kurva”, you would probably get a punch in the nose from another family member. Or, at the very least, your reputation as a domakin would be destroyed right there and then. That is the height of disrespect and I can't believe that you're even suggesting that this is how Macedonians treat their women. What a load of crap. Drunkard spousal abuse aside, which is normally grounds for divorce, calling your wife a kurva is not a Macedonian “thing” and no Macedonian woman I know would ever tolerate such abuse.

                      Comment

                      • Risto the Great
                        Senior Member
                        • Sep 2008
                        • 15658

                        #26
                        Karposh, he said don't be like that.
                        I think Macedonians can be utterly filthy with their phrasing.

                        In English, it would equate with men in a group boasting about their masculinity saying things like "I told her, bitch, get me my beer". Of course it's shit. So is when women mock their men in an equally similar degrading manner within their own groups.
                        Risto the Great
                        MACEDONIA:ANHEDONIA
                        "Holding my breath for the revolution."

                        Hey, I wrote a bestseller. Check it out: www.ren-shen.com

                        Comment

                        • Gocka
                          Senior Member
                          • Dec 2012
                          • 2306

                          #27
                          You must have missed the whole post.

                          As RTG pointed out. I was being sarcastic in imitating a stereotypical macho type, who acts rude and chauvinistic and then is surprised when women are turned off. Lol I dont think I've ever even used the word Kurva in any setting. Sheesh what do you take me for? Where did you get the notion that I call my wife kurvo lol?

                          I've been criticizing both sides of the coin here. Many Macedonian men are misogynistic pigs, and are surprised when women are put off. On the other hand many Macedonian women want to run away from all things Macedonian.


                          At the end of the day, I'm with RTG, you go with love rather than trying to protect some kind of clan mentality. The fact that my wife is Macedonian is an after thought, its more about being like minded and being decent honest people.

                          Originally posted by Karposh View Post
                          Gocka, I tried really hard to ignore the above but Pelagonija's latest reply to you spurred me on a bit to call you out on this one. Do you ever pause and think about what you say before you post? Seriously, who in their right mind calls their missus a “kurva”. I don't know what you have witnessed in your family or circle of friends but in my family, or any other Macedonian family I know, if you called the mother of your children a “kurva”, you would probably get a punch in the nose from another family member. Or, at the very least, your reputation as a domakin would be destroyed right there and then. That is the height of disrespect and I can't believe that you're even suggesting that this is how Macedonians treat their women. What a load of crap. Drunkard spousal abuse aside, which is normally grounds for divorce, calling your wife a kurva is not a Macedonian “thing” and no Macedonian woman I know would ever tolerate such abuse.
                          Last edited by Gocka; 12-27-2017, 07:20 PM.

                          Comment

                          • Risto the Great
                            Senior Member
                            • Sep 2008
                            • 15658

                            #28
                            Originally posted by Starling View Post
                            Women hate the Kardashians too. They're more an example of classism and how it affects media than what the average middle-class woman cares about.
                            I don't think all women do. Just look at all the selfies online. It has permeated all levels of culture and none of it is good. The middle class is the host for the cancer that eats society. We fund it and allow it to thrive.


                            Originally posted by Starling View Post
                            Also the mockery tends to be about entitlement more than anything. Pretty much the only times I've seen any was in relation to misogynistic comments. People are finally starting to really do something about the rampant sexual harassment and abuse of power in places like hollywood and to be honest mockery isn't really that notable when faced with potential ostracization and your career getting ruined if you don't accede to every demand of some ass in a suit. Women have actually received death threats just for trying to exist in male dominated circles or speaking out against things they've had to deal with. There are entire forums dedicated to hating women and strategizing on how to best make them fear for their lives, stalk them and so on. Women by contrast mostly express disdain for men by how much they want to get away from the ones who are like that and surround themselves in women who will look out for their wellbeing. One is actively seeking to harm while the other just wants a safe and comfortable environment.
                            I see Matt Damon is now the enemy of all women because he stated there were varying degrees of problems in society. In my mind this is hardly a controversial statement.

                            I am not sure about the mockery of men in your nation. But not a single television commercial paints men in a masculine role nowadays. They are all shown as dopey sorts who are only fit for lifting things outside.

                            There are other forums dedicated to men who are abused by women and it is even more horrifying because they have no problems messing with the minds of their children as part of their strategy. It goes both ways and thankfully it isn't the majority of both sexes who feel the same about all of this.

                            Not that it really relates to anything, but why did all the women who were abused by Weinstein wait to achieve their success before complaining publicly about their abuse? This terrible behaviour could have been stamped out 20 years ago. Shame on them and the abuse on other women that could have been avoided.
                            Risto the Great
                            MACEDONIA:ANHEDONIA
                            "Holding my breath for the revolution."

                            Hey, I wrote a bestseller. Check it out: www.ren-shen.com

                            Comment

                            • Starling
                              Member
                              • Sep 2017
                              • 153

                              #29
                              I don't think all women do. Just look at all the selfies online. It has permeated all levels of culture and none of it is good. The middle class is the host for the cancer that eats society. We fund it and allow it to thrive.
                              Fair enough. I hate that stuff for similar reasons and could go on at length on why society is like that. Part of it is that corporations basically manipulate people into certain mentalities for their convenience. Capitalism is a cruel and unsustainable system that's going to need to change or be replaced sometime soon and part of the means of addressing those problems is actually to go back to older, more self-sufficient ways of living to better cope with the impending economic turmoil.

                              I see Matt Damon is now the enemy of all women because he stated there were varying degrees of problems in society. In my mind this is hardly a controversial statement.
                              I never said there weren't women who genuinely hated men for fallacious reasons. People like that exist too among everyone else. Not that long ago a disappointingly large amount of american women voted for a known pedophile because heaven forbid a liberal take his place. White women were also a non negligible demographic that voted for Trump. Thing is, when people complain about women mocking men and such they're usually talking about women who are voicing legitimate grievances with misogynistic behaviour or biases and only bring up women making actual discriminatory comments to retroactively justify condemning the women from the previous case, which is false equivalence.

                              Now regarding the thing with Matt Damon, the issue seems to be comparable to Tump's 'many sides' response to neo-nazis marching the streets spouting anti-semitic rhetoric like it's Nazi Germany all over again. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment. No one has to be told that the stuff that falls under sexual assault or workplace discrimination will be treated differently in the judicial system and that's not actually the current problem, but rather the need to hold people accountable for their sexual harassment as per the laws intended to address that. Basically he probably meant well but misunderstood the issue and inadvertently made a comment that doesn't really address the real problem and comes off as an excuse to downplay the "less severe" forms of sexual harassment. Filter it through the endless telephone game of social media, strip it of additional context and controversy was inevitable. Stuff like that isn't really representative of women being unreasonable so much as internet communication issues.

                              I am not sure about the mockery of men in your nation. But not a single television commercial paints men in a masculine role nowadays. They are all shown as dopey sorts who are only fit for lifting things outside.
                              That's a stereotype, which have a tendency of being patronizing or downright offensive. While there's some truth to certain stereotypes Americans who don't fit them tend to dislike the ones applied to them, for example.

                              Canadian stereotypes aren't too bad but it likewise gets annoying to only ever see Canadians come up as those weird people from up north who drink maple syrup and speak in some weird accent I've never actually heard anyone use in real life, as well as the constant butchering of simple french words in a context where it's expected to be grammatically correct. Even the one about being polite can be used offensively as I once saw someone make a joke about drunk driving where the punchline is that the dying man who got hit by a car was Canadian and said sorry for being hit. Additionally in my experience the whole "eh" thing is more something you get with french speakers and it's actually an invitation to confirm your interest in the discussion or add to it yourself rather than something that gets randomly tacked on at the end of every other sentence. You also get variation in the exact sound as it's more of an onomatopoeia than and actual word.

                              Also the inexplicable clumsiness in commercials is partly from a number of advertised products being designed to assist people with disabilities or because advertisers don't know how else to emphasize how convenient their product is. They're pretty far removed from reality in general as most of the food in the food commercials aren't even edible and a hell of a lot of trickery is involved in advertising beauty products. Blatantly photoshopping models to create physically impossible beauty standards marketed as real, shaving hairless legs, removing lipstick to reveal lighter lipstick they pretend is the model's "natural" look, washing off obvious makeup but somehow still wearing makeup, etc.

                              Basically commercials are extremely manipulative and unrealistic.

                              Another thing to keep in mind is that the clumsy husband stereotype plays into expectations that the woman has to take care of the household because the man can't, which is an example of how the same standards that harm women harm men too but in different ways. In this case men are infantalized and conditioned to expect to be cared for rather than caring for themselves, which feeds into the stuff causing men to grow up feeling entitled to having women take care of them without any mutual cooperation involved, while women are expected to tend the household first and foremost and provide for others without expecting anything in return.

                              The solution to this is to expect self-sufficiency and mutual respect from everyone regardless of gender and to try and be aware of your own biases in that regard. Don't file any general life skills like cooking, cleaning and working as being for a particular gender and teach them to all your kids. Cooking in particular is especially relevant due to its cultural value and the importance of family recipes. It's also a pretty good bonding opportunity even if you stick to simple stuff.

                              There are other forums dedicated to men who are abused by women and it is even more horrifying because they have no problems messing with the minds of their children as part of their strategy. It goes both ways and thankfully it isn't the majority of both sexes who feel the same about all of this.
                              Entirely true. While a lot of people misunderstand what feminism actually is and a lot of so-called feminists muddle it by failing to actually adhere to it, feminists are actually among the strongest advocates for male abuse victims. Like I said above, the same societal standards that harm women harm men too, so it's not just about women but rather problems with the current notion of gender roles.

                              Not that it really relates to anything, but why did all the women who were abused by Weinstein wait to achieve their success before complaining publicly about their abuse? This terrible behaviour could have been stamped out 20 years ago. Shame on them and the abuse on other women that could have been avoided.
                              NDAs, threats, coming out about their experiences coming with the risk of losing their livelihood, getting ostracized, having their reputation ran into the ground, getting stalked or threatened, getting sued for the aforementioned NDA, just generally being worse off while Weinsteen goes about his life unaffected, etc. Women came out about Trump's sexual harassment, actual video footage of things he's said has aired on the news, he literally got endorsed by Putin, Kim Jong Il and the KKK and people still voted to make him president. Not to mention all the people who voted for a pedophile. There's a lot of systematic bias discouraging women to put everything on the line with no actual resolution because more often than not they won't be taken seriously. There are plenty of stories of women attempting to report rape and either being brushed aside or getting blamed for what happened. How many of their abusers would go free and then possibly stalk or try to kill them. 20 years ago it was both unsafe and often futile to report sexual harassment and the sheer number of things discouraging it just weren't worth dealing with when they could quite literally ruin their chances at leading the life they were trying to have. It's only recently that there's really been a major breakthrough in undoing those biases and actually holding those men accountable for what they've done.

                              A while back there was a scandal about I forget which well known dictionary having a bunch of sexist definitions. Individually you would't really think too much about them but a collection of definitions ascribing negative associations to women in stereotypical contexts is pretty damning. Then there's inequality in pay for the same work, the general tendency to take women less seriously, constantly challenging their authority or demanding they prove their credentials when men are just taken as is and a myriad little things people don't think about like the tendency for men to take up space while women are expected to give it, that women are expected to move out of the way while men just keep going on their set path, how women get criticized for covering up too much as well as covering too little, how dress codes generally restrict what women wear "so as not to distract the men" rather than hold men accountable for their lustful inattentiveness and so on.

                              Comment

                              • Gocka
                                Senior Member
                                • Dec 2012
                                • 2306

                                #30
                                Very insightful and thoughtful.

                                Being of a younger generation, I actually sympathize with women on this one. I did the whole corporate thing for a while and some of the overt harassment was disgusting, and whether it was tolerated or not was always proportional to how powerful the harasser was. At the end of the day I saw first hand how women were put in a position of either speaking out, or being out of a job. For a mom who needs to feed a family its not a choice, and that is truly sad. To make matters even worse, many women who spoke up, only saw them lose their jobs while the harasser went unpunished.

                                Its unfortunate that the face of this problem is the big names, the famous people, they are not representative of the every day struggle that average women face. These well publicized cases are always going to attract false accusers. The real injustices are in corporate hell holes, and everyday jobs.

                                As for feminism, just like any other movement, you will have extremists, the uniformed, ill informed, the opportunists, etc. Plenty of legitimate grievances based on centuries of injustice. Unfortunately sometimes it lends to man hating. Young girls are really a weird phenomenon. They have a mix of feminism and entitlement which obviously oppose one another. Old school feminists wanted to be treated as equals full stop, younger feminists, want to be treated equal in certain situations, and then want preferential treatment in others.

                                Lately there are too many loud mouths inserting themselves in these issues that cheapen the actual movements.

                                I also don't feel particularly bad for most of these men who are accused. Most don't eve realize what they have done is wrong, that is the root of the whole problem. Having dated and worked with many women form many backgrounds, I can say without doubt that I have never even came close to crossing a boundary. When I hear the things people are accused of, I think to myself, wtf were you thinking, how could you even assume that was ok. You don't need to be a pig to court a woman, and more often than not it seems to be the men who couldn't otherwise successfully court a woman who resort to manipulation and harassment. Having said that, some of theses women also have no right to complain. "Well I went up to his hotel room, but I was shocked when he exposed himself" Really? Were you? Many women put themselves in these situations, then regret it and want to put the blame on someone else. Young girls need to be taught to make good decisions and not always expect someone else to watch out for them. Going to a college party, getting piss drunk, not remembering what you did, finding out you may have had sex, considering that as rape, is a bit of a stretch. In many instances like that society takes all the responsibility of one party and puts it on the other. Although its disgusting to have sex with someone who is piss drunk, at some point people need to take responsibility for themselves. Its all very complicated and I am so glad that I am happily married and can avoid all of it.

                                By the way, some stereotypes are damn true. In my accounting days, I ran a Canadian subsidiary for a while, and let me tell you, Canadians are so damn polite. The difference between typical American correspondence was glaring. I loved it when i had to get on the phone with someone from Canada, even your government employees are polite. Do you have any idea what happens when you call and American government agency? I don't think I ever spoke to even one rude Canadian.

                                This is probably not the right thread for this conversation, maybe we could create another one for this topic. You also touched on the pedophile, who I assume was Roy Moore from Alabama. That was a head scratcher but the reason for it, is much more dangerous than people wanting to elect a pedophile over a liberal.


                                Originally posted by Starling View Post
                                Fair enough. I hate that stuff for similar reasons and could go on at length on why society is like that. Part of it is that corporations basically manipulate people into certain mentalities for their convenience. Capitalism is a cruel and unsustainable system that's going to need to change or be replaced sometime soon and part of the means of addressing those problems is actually to go back to older, more self-sufficient ways of living to better cope with the impending economic turmoil.



                                I never said there weren't women who genuinely hated men for fallacious reasons. People like that exist too among everyone else. Not that long ago a disappointingly large amount of american women voted for a known pedophile because heaven forbid a liberal take his place. White women were also a non negligible demographic that voted for Trump. Thing is, when people complain about women mocking men and such they're usually talking about women who are voicing legitimate grievances with misogynistic behaviour or biases and only bring up women making actual discriminatory comments to retroactively justify condemning the women from the previous case, which is false equivalence.

                                Now regarding the thing with Matt Damon, the issue seems to be comparable to Tump's 'many sides' response to neo-nazis marching the streets spouting anti-semitic rhetoric like it's Nazi Germany all over again. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment. No one has to be told that the stuff that falls under sexual assault or workplace discrimination will be treated differently in the judicial system and that's not actually the current problem, but rather the need to hold people accountable for their sexual harassment as per the laws intended to address that. Basically he probably meant well but misunderstood the issue and inadvertently made a comment that doesn't really address the real problem and comes off as an excuse to downplay the "less severe" forms of sexual harassment. Filter it through the endless telephone game of social media, strip it of additional context and controversy was inevitable. Stuff like that isn't really representative of women being unreasonable so much as internet communication issues.


                                That's a stereotype, which have a tendency of being patronizing or downright offensive. While there's some truth to certain stereotypes Americans who don't fit them tend to dislike the ones applied to them, for example.

                                Canadian stereotypes aren't too bad but it likewise gets annoying to only ever see Canadians come up as those weird people from up north who drink maple syrup and speak in some weird accent I've never actually heard anyone use in real life, as well as the constant butchering of simple french words in a context where it's expected to be grammatically correct. Even the one about being polite can be used offensively as I once saw someone make a joke about drunk driving where the punchline is that the dying man who got hit by a car was Canadian and said sorry for being hit. Additionally in my experience the whole "eh" thing is more something you get with french speakers and it's actually an invitation to confirm your interest in the discussion or add to it yourself rather than something that gets randomly tacked on at the end of every other sentence. You also get variation in the exact sound as it's more of an onomatopoeia than and actual word.

                                Also the inexplicable clumsiness in commercials is partly from a number of advertised products being designed to assist people with disabilities or because advertisers don't know how else to emphasize how convenient their product is. They're pretty far removed from reality in general as most of the food in the food commercials aren't even edible and a hell of a lot of trickery is involved in advertising beauty products. Blatantly photoshopping models to create physically impossible beauty standards marketed as real, shaving hairless legs, removing lipstick to reveal lighter lipstick they pretend is the model's "natural" look, washing off obvious makeup but somehow still wearing makeup, etc.

                                Basically commercials are extremely manipulative and unrealistic.

                                Another thing to keep in mind is that the clumsy husband stereotype plays into expectations that the woman has to take care of the household because the man can't, which is an example of how the same standards that harm women harm men too but in different ways. In this case men are infantalized and conditioned to expect to be cared for rather than caring for themselves, which feeds into the stuff causing men to grow up feeling entitled to having women take care of them without any mutual cooperation involved, while women are expected to tend the household first and foremost and provide for others without expecting anything in return.

                                The solution to this is to expect self-sufficiency and mutual respect from everyone regardless of gender and to try and be aware of your own biases in that regard. Don't file any general life skills like cooking, cleaning and working as being for a particular gender and teach them to all your kids. Cooking in particular is especially relevant due to its cultural value and the importance of family recipes. It's also a pretty good bonding opportunity even if you stick to simple stuff.



                                Entirely true. While a lot of people misunderstand what feminism actually is and a lot of so-called feminists muddle it by failing to actually adhere to it, feminists are actually among the strongest advocates for male abuse victims. Like I said above, the same societal standards that harm women harm men too, so it's not just about women but rather problems with the current notion of gender roles.



                                NDAs, threats, coming out about their experiences coming with the risk of losing their livelihood, getting ostracized, having their reputation ran into the ground, getting stalked or threatened, getting sued for the aforementioned NDA, just generally being worse off while Weinsteen goes about his life unaffected, etc. Women came out about Trump's sexual harassment, actual video footage of things he's said has aired on the news, he literally got endorsed by Putin, Kim Jong Il and the KKK and people still voted to make him president. Not to mention all the people who voted for a pedophile. There's a lot of systematic bias discouraging women to put everything on the line with no actual resolution because more often than not they won't be taken seriously. There are plenty of stories of women attempting to report rape and either being brushed aside or getting blamed for what happened. How many of their abusers would go free and then possibly stalk or try to kill them. 20 years ago it was both unsafe and often futile to report sexual harassment and the sheer number of things discouraging it just weren't worth dealing with when they could quite literally ruin their chances at leading the life they were trying to have. It's only recently that there's really been a major breakthrough in undoing those biases and actually holding those men accountable for what they've done.

                                A while back there was a scandal about I forget which well known dictionary having a bunch of sexist definitions. Individually you would't really think too much about them but a collection of definitions ascribing negative associations to women in stereotypical contexts is pretty damning. Then there's inequality in pay for the same work, the general tendency to take women less seriously, constantly challenging their authority or demanding they prove their credentials when men are just taken as is and a myriad little things people don't think about like the tendency for men to take up space while women are expected to give it, that women are expected to move out of the way while men just keep going on their set path, how women get criticized for covering up too much as well as covering too little, how dress codes generally restrict what women wear "so as not to distract the men" rather than hold men accountable for their lustful inattentiveness and so on.
                                Last edited by Gocka; 12-28-2017, 12:44 AM.

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