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An English guy is driving with a Greek guy as his passenger, when he decides to pull over because he suspect that his turn signal may not be working. He asks the Greek guy if he doesn't mind stepping out of the car to check the lights while he tests them. The Greek guy steps out and stands in front of the car. The English guy turns on the turn signal and asks, "Is it working?" To which the Greek guy responds, "Yes, it's working....No, it's not working....Yes, it's working....No, it's not working...."
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The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it! -
One day an Greek man arrives in London and after a few hours meets a woman who asks him back to her house for sex.
When they get there the Greek instantly starts dragging all the furniture to one side of the room.
"What the fuck are you doing?" asked the woman.
"Well," replied the Greek, "I have never slept with a woman before, and if you're anything like a Sheep we are going to need as much room as possible!"The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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Greek corruption .
A fence in the garden of a public hospital has been damaged because of the storm and the hospital director wants to fix it. So he calls 3 experts, a British guy, a German guy and a Greek guy in order to examine the damage and tell him how much they want in order to fix the problem.
So the British guy takes out his tools first, he examines the problem, he measures the fence, and finally says "It'll cost you 500 euros. 100 for the materials I'll use, 100 for me and 300 divided between the workers who'll do the job".
"OK", says the director and he asks the German guy to take a look at the fence. The German guy takes out his tools, he measures the fence etc and finally says :"It'll cost you 400 euros. 50 for the materials, 50 for me and 300 divided between the workers".
The director says "OK" and asks the Greek guy "How much do you want to fix it"? The Greek guy immediately says " The total price is 1.400 euros", without taking a look at the fence. The director wonders "But you didn't even take a look and you're too expensive. How did you come up with that price?" "Simple", the Greek guy answers. "500 euros for me, 500 for you and we'll hire the German guy to fix the fence".The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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A Greek man walks in to a doctors office and says, "Doctor you must help me.
I have AIDS."
The doctor replies, "Are you gay?"
The man answers "yes."
The doctor says, "I think I can help. Go to the grocery store, buy a box of laxatives and a quart of prune juice...
Take all of the laxatives and drink all of the prune juice, then take a nap for a couple of hours...
When you wake up your problem will be solved."
The man answers, "Will that cure my
AIDS?" The doctor replies, "No, but you will find out what your ass hole is really for!"The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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Standing on the shore, a Greek lady watches her grandson playing in the water.
She is thunderstruck when she sees a huge wave crash over him. When it recedes, the boy is no longer there -- he had vanished! Screaming, the Greek woman holds her hands to the sky and cries, "Lord, how could you? Have I not been a wonderful mother and grandmother? Have I not scrimped and saved so I could give to the temple? Have I not always put others before myself? Have I not always turned my other cheek and loved my neighbors? Have I not--"
A deep loud voice from the sky interrupts. "Enough already, give me a break!"
Immediately, another huge wave appears and crashes on the beach. And when it recedes, the boy is there smiling, splashing around as if nothing ever happened.
The deep loud voice continues. "I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied?"
The grandmother responds, "He had a hat."The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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What's the difference between an Australian zoo and a Greek zoo?
A Greek zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage along with... "a recipe".The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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Consul : What is your name?
Greek: Suckos Pipidopeoloss
Consul: Sex?
Greek : Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Greek : Both Male and female sometimes Sheep
Consul: Holy cow!
Greek : Yes, cows and dogs too
Consul: Man,......... isn' t it hostile?
Greek :Horse style, dog style, any style
Consul: Oh dear!
Greek : Deer No ,hole too high, run too fast!The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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Two fags wanted to play swords!
What is the sword game ask the first fagget!
When you will take out your dick,i will take out mine and we will fight with our "swords".So they started to play.Than a GAYREEK saw them and he wanted to play also!They accepted him!After a while when the GAYREEK was tired from swording,he bend over his ass and said KILL ME,KILL ME!The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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Two greeks, Spiro and Theo are walking when they come across a fence where a goat has his head stuck.
Spiro looks at Theo, Theo then looks back at Spiro and smiles, drops his pants, and starts goin to town with this goat, just tearin’ his ass up. After he is done, he says, "Alright, your turn."
And Spiro drops his draws, grabs his ankles, and sticks his head in the fence.Comment
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TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GREEK
1. You get to shout about your culture although the only real culture most Greeks have is what is growing between their toes.
2. The police are even more corrupt than the criminals they are supposed to be chasing.
3. You can blow your nose in the street by pinching it between the thumb and forefinger and trumpeting forth without everyone around retching their stomach contents up at the sight.
4. Old women can sport moustaches.
5. Young women can sport moustaches.
6. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly bear and not get put in a zoo.
7. You get to call the bouzouki a musical instrument when the rest of the world sees it as an instrument of torture.
8. You are the only nation to have lost its marbles and still wants to let everyone else around the world know about it.
9. Ridiculous bureaucracy.
10. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos.The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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A Greek applied for a visa to leave for Australia. And his reason, he indicated that he had a brother in Australia who fell ill and needed help. The officials at the passport office said,
"Then why won't your brother rather come over here in Greece?"
"My brother is sick, but he's not mentally sick."The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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Some thirty Greek people gathered to celebrate the birthday of the host. After a few bottles of OUZO were imbibed, the tongues got loose, and the guests started telling political jokes.
Through laughter, a voice sounded, "MALAKAS, please, it's too noisy. In such a noise, I can't hear the jokes. I am writing it down, you know."
A man sitting next to the one who's writing down, says admiringly, "How do you manage to write down that fast?"
"Oh, I'm writing down only their initials."The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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In Greece, a lecturer gave a public talk entitled "Is there life on Mars?"
When he finished, he asked, "Any questions?"
"Yes. When will we have a life in Greece?"The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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A Greek, a Frenchman and an Englishman argued about Adam's nationality.
The Frenchman said, "Of course Adam was French. Look how passionately he made love to Eve!"
The Englishman said, "Of course Adam was British. Look how he gave his only apple to the lady, like a real gentleman."
The Greek said, "Of course Adam only could be Greek. Who else, possessing nothing but a sole apple, and walking with a naked ass, still believed he was in a paradise?"The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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A Greek, a Frenchman and an American argued who was the bravest man. The American said, "For example, we take ten cars of which one has no brakes. We throw dice, each of us gets a car, we drive on a mountain road. Afterwards one of us is in a hospital, and the other nine visit him there."
"That's nothing," the Frenchman said. "We choose ten girls and one of them has AIDS. We throw dice and each one of us gets a girl, and we make love to them throughout the night. Afterwards one of us is in a hospital, and the other nine visit him."
The Greek said, "We gather in an apartment, even though we know that one of us must be an informer. We tell political jokes throughout the night, and then nine are in jail, and one visits the nine there."The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!Comment
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