Macedonian Humour

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  • The LION will ROAR
    Senior Member
    • Jan 2009
    • 3231

    #46
    Anyone see the Greek Military Rifle on eBay? It's never been shot and only dropped once!
    The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

    Comment

    • The LION will ROAR
      Senior Member
      • Jan 2009
      • 3231

      #47
      A Greek Couple Start Fighting

      Husband: If you knew how to clean and cook, I wouldn't need a servant in this house.

      Wife: If you knew how to have sex, I wouldn't need the Macedonian either.
      The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

      Comment

      • The LION will ROAR
        Senior Member
        • Jan 2009
        • 3231

        #48
        Consul : What is your name?
        Greek: Suckos Pipi-dope-aloss

        Consul: Sex?
        Greek : Six to ten times a week

        Consul: I mean, male or female?
        Greek : Both Male and female sometimes Sheep

        Consul: Holy cow!
        Greek : Yes, cows and dogs too

        Consul: Man,......... isn' t it hostile?
        Greek :Horse style, dog style, any style

        Consul: Oh dear!
        Greek : Deer No ,hole too high, run too fast!
        The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

        Comment

        • The LION will ROAR
          Senior Member
          • Jan 2009
          • 3231

          #49
          Macedonian STYLE
          Two Macedonian were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions.
          One said, 'I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best.'
          'I don't think I have ever heard of that one,' said the other Macedonian 'What is it?'
          'Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind.
          Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear:
          'Boy, these feel just like your sister's. Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds.'
          The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

          Comment

          • The LION will ROAR
            Senior Member
            • Jan 2009
            • 3231

            #50
            A GREEK POLICE Officer decides to Question and interigate a Macedonian Man, and summons him to the Greek Police
            Station. The Greek Officer is not surprised when the Macedonian Man shows up with his lawyer.
            The Greek Police Officer says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment as we don't hire Macedonian people in Greece, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the Greek Police finds that believable."
            "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says the Macedonian. "How about a demonstration?"
            The Greek Office thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
            The Macedonian says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
            The Greek Office thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."
            The Macedonian removes his glass eye and bites it.
            The Greek Officer jaw drops.
            The Macedonian says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
            Now the Greek Officer can tell the Macedonian isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
            The Macedonian removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
            The stunned Greek Police Officer now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with the Macedonian lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
            "Want to go double or nothing?" The Macedonian asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."
            The Greek Officer, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
            The Macedonian stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the Greek police officer's desk.
            The Police Officer leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But the Macedonian lawyer moans and puts his head in his hands.
            "Are you okay?" the Greek police officer asks.
            "Not really," says the lawyer. "This morning, when The Macedonian told me he'd been summoned for an investigation, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it.
            The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

            Comment

            • The LION will ROAR
              Senior Member
              • Jan 2009
              • 3231

              #51
              On a train from Athens to SOLUN, a Greek was telling a Macedonian
              sitting across from him in the compartment.
              "You Macedonian set yourselves apart too much.
              Look at me... in me, I have Turkish blood, Alabnian blood, a little Ethiopian blood, and
              some Slav blood. What do you say to that?"
              The Macedonian said, "Very sporting of your mother."
              The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

              Comment

              • The LION will ROAR
                Senior Member
                • Jan 2009
                • 3231

                #52
                A Macedonian man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the
                elevator, there was a Greek women already inside and he greeted him by saying,
                "T-G-I-F" (letters only).
                He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only)."
                She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.
                He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."
                The Greek women was trying to be friendly, so she smiled a biggest smile and
                said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time.
                The Macedonian smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical
                expression, "S-H-I-T."
                The Greek women finally decided to explain things, and this time he said,
                "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"
                The Macedonian answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."
                The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                Comment

                • The LION will ROAR
                  Senior Member
                  • Jan 2009
                  • 3231

                  #53
                  A Macedonian and a Greek walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear.
                  The Macedonian immediately opened his Backpak, pulled out a pair of
                  sneakers and started putting them on. The Greek looked at him and
                  said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
                  "I don't have to," the Macedonian replied. "I only have to outrun you."
                  The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                  Comment

                  • The LION will ROAR
                    Senior Member
                    • Jan 2009
                    • 3231

                    #54
                    A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's
                    grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little
                    girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
                    "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
                    "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a GREEK and an honest man.'"
                    The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                    Comment

                    • Risto the Great
                      Senior Member
                      • Sep 2008
                      • 15660

                      #55
                      I am too scared to post here ....
                      LwH .... prolific is the word that comes to mind!
                      Risto the Great
                      MACEDONIA:ANHEDONIA
                      "Holding my breath for the revolution."

                      Hey, I wrote a bestseller. Check it out: www.ren-shen.com

                      Comment

                      • The LION will ROAR
                        Senior Member
                        • Jan 2009
                        • 3231

                        #56
                        Originally posted by Risto the Great View Post
                        I am too scared to post here ....
                        LwH .... prolific is the word that comes to mind!
                        RTG,
                        I have over 2000 jokes..lol
                        many are very offensive aswell..
                        Please advise if i go over board.. or need to tone things down..
                        Cheers...
                        The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                        Comment

                        • Sarafot
                          Member
                          • Dec 2008
                          • 616

                          #57
                          I would like that someone invite Demos and terra to have a look here!
                          Nice job bro!
                          Ние македонците не сме ни срби, ни бугари, туку просто Македонци. Ние ги симпатизираме и едните и другите, кој ќе не ослободи, нему ќе му речеме благодарам, но србите и бугарите нека не забораваат дека Македонија е само за Македонците.
                          - Борис Сарафов, 2 септември 1902

                          Comment

                          • Risto the Great
                            Senior Member
                            • Sep 2008
                            • 15660

                            #59
                            Originally posted by Dimko-piperkata View Post




                            i adore macedonian humor
                            Linear A+ was the language used above.
                            Love it!
                            Risto the Great
                            MACEDONIA:ANHEDONIA
                            "Holding my breath for the revolution."

                            Hey, I wrote a bestseller. Check it out: www.ren-shen.com

                            Comment

                            • Risto the Great
                              Senior Member
                              • Sep 2008
                              • 15660

                              #60
                              Originally posted by The LION will ROAR View Post
                              RTG,
                              I have over 2000 jokes..lol
                              many are very offensive aswell..
                              Please advise if i go over board.. or need to tone things down..
                              Cheers...
                              LwH, I have a few Greek friends. As long as you feel that you could say the joke in front of them tongue in cheek, then that is your measure. So far, they have been mostly hilarious.
                              Risto the Great
                              MACEDONIA:ANHEDONIA
                              "Holding my breath for the revolution."

                              Hey, I wrote a bestseller. Check it out: www.ren-shen.com

                              Comment

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