Macedonian Humour

[The LION will ROAR]

There was a Macedonian,italian and a athenian (greek ) on a plane.. they each had to do something for there country, so the italian jumps of the plane and says " this is for my country!!!!!!!!" and died...it was the Macedonian who turn and KICKS THE ATHENIAN off the plane and says " THATS FOR MY COUNTRY

[The LION will ROAR]

God didn't make the Greeks..
the Westerners made them..
with a:-
.
Dash of Albanian
Dash of Turk
Splash of Jew
Pinch of Slav
sprinkle abit of German
.
.
You Pour Ethiopian
and stir with a Western COCK..
and then you let it simer in HELL for 150years..
and there you go..
you have GREEK...

[The LION will ROAR]

Gruevski, Dora Bakoyannis and Kamamanis are travelling by ship to a conference, when they're wrecked on a desert island. Everything is lost in the disaster, they have no food, and so they decide to go their separate ways and scour the island.
After three days, Kamamanis still has found nothing to live on, and he is desparate. As he comes to a clearing in the woods, he smells cooking. Can it be...? He looks into the clearing, and sees Gruevski stirring a big pot over a fire. "How can I persude him to give me some of that?", he thinks. "I know! - he hates Greeks and I'm Half Macedonian. So ..."
Kamamanis ventures into the clearing and greets Gruevski. "I don't like Dora Bakoyannis , do you?", he says. "Oh, that's a shame", says Gruevski
"You won't want any of this stew then, will you?".

[The LION will ROAR]

A Greek decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior experience.
He mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the Greek begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, he grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. he tries to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up his frail grip, he leaps away from the horse to try and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot has become entangled in the stirrup and he is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head is struck against the ground again and again. As his head is battered against the ground, he is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to his great fortune..
..the WESTFIELD manager runs out and unplugs the horse

[The LION will ROAR]

A dumb Greek was bragging about he's knowledge of History on Greece. He proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me anything about Greece, I know everything."
A Macedonian said, "O.K., who was Alexander The Macedonian?" The Greek replied, "Oh, that's easy, He was Gay so he must be Greek..

[The LION will ROAR]

A bus load of Greeks were driving down a country road,
when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed
into a tree in an old farmer’s field up North. The old farmer,after
Seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded
to dig a hole and bury the Greeks.
A few days later, the local Police came out, saw the crashed
bus, and asked the farmer where all the Greeks had gone.
The old farmer said he had buried them. The Police then
asked the old farmer, “Were they ALL dead?” The old farmer
replied, “Well, some of them said they weren’t, but you know
how them Greeks lie.”

[The LION will ROAR]

A Macedonian and a Greek drinking Coffee, and the Macedonian said to the Greek nice Turkish Coffee"
"I resent that remark." said the Greek as he rose from the Cafe table. "I'll give you 5 seconds to take that back."
"Oh yeah?" snarled the Macedonian, who upon standing was head and shoulders above the Greek. "Suppose I don't take it back in five seconds?"
"Well ..." stammered the Greek, "how much time do you need?"

[The LION will ROAR]

I wish there was a knob on Greek TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a
knob called 'brightness', but it doesn't work.

[The LION will ROAR]

A guy was walking down a street in Greece when a man approached from behind him and stuck a knife to the the guy's throat.
"Are you Greek or Macedonian", the assailant asked.?
The guy thought "If I say I'm Greek and he's Macedonian, I'm a dead man. If I say I'm Macedonian and he's Greek, I'm a dead man."
After a little thought, the guy said, "I'm jewish, I'M JEWISH".
"Aha," the assailant said, "I have to be the luckyest Arab in Greece!"

[The LION will ROAR]

Q: You go to a cockfight. How can you identify the Greek guy?
A: He's the one with a duck.
Q: How do you know if an Cyprian is there?
A: He bet on the duck.
Q: How do you know if the Greek Government is there?
A: The duck wins.