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Euro-English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre
that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and
it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a
reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united
urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking
German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre
that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and
it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a
reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united
urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking
German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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