Macedonian Humour

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  • The LION will ROAR
    Senior Member
    • Jan 2009
    • 3231

    Macedonian Humour

    A large group of Greek soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a Hill. "One Macedonian Soldier is better than ten Greeks!"
    The Greek commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the Hill,where upon a gun battle breaks and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
    The voice then calls out "One Macedonian Soldier is better than one hundred Greeks!"
    Furious, the Greek commander sends his next best 100 troops over the Hill and instantly a huge firefight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
    The Macedonian voice calls out again "One Macedonian Soldier is better than one thousand Greeks!"
    The enraged Greek Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the Hill. Cannons, rockets and machine guns ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Greek fighter crawls
    back over the Hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don`t send anymore men, it`s a trap. There`s two of them!"
    The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!
  • The LION will ROAR
    Senior Member
    • Jan 2009
    • 3231

    #2
    The Greek Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Greece.
    The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the Training Feild, located just 5 miles outside of LERIN, caused the Greek soldiers at a nearby Greek Army garrison to surrender to a group of Farmers.
    The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

    Comment

    • The LION will ROAR
      Senior Member
      • Jan 2009
      • 3231

      #3
      During the Macedonian / Greek war, an intense long standoff occured along the front.
      For days and days neither side made any advances.
      Finally, a Macedonian general had a bright idea.
      He aimed his rifle to the Greek trenches and yelled "Hey GRECKO!"
      ...A soldier jumped up and replied "What?"
      The general shot him dead.
      This continued for three days.
      A Greek general decided that two could play this game and decided to try it out.
      He called out "Hey MACO!!"
      A Macedonian replied "MACO isn't here......is that you GRECKO?"
      The Greek general stood up, "Yeah?!"
      The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

      Comment

      • The LION will ROAR
        Senior Member
        • Jan 2009
        • 3231

        #4
        Three men are about to be executed. One's a Turk, one's a Albanian, and one's a Greek. Two guards brings the Turk forward, and the executioner asks if he has any last requests.
        He says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
        Suddenly the Turk yells, "earthquake!!"
        Everyone is startled and looks around. He manages to escape.
        The angry guards then bring the Albanian forward, and the executioner asks if he has any last requests.
        He says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
        The Albanian then screams, "tornado!!"
        Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. He too escapes execution.
        By this point, the Greek had figured out what the others did. The guards bring him forward, and the executioner asks if he has any last requests.
        He also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
        The Greeks shouts, "fire!!"
        The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

        Comment

        • The LION will ROAR
          Senior Member
          • Jan 2009
          • 3231

          #5
          Macedonian Radio
          .
          Q: Is it true that there is freedom of speech in Greece the same as in Macedonia?
          .
          A: In principle, yes. In Macedonia, you can stand in front of the Parliament in Skopje and yell, "Down with Gruevski!", and you will not be punished. Just the same, you can stand in the Main Square in Athens and yell, "Down with Gruevski!", and you will not be punished.
          The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

          Comment

          • The LION will ROAR
            Senior Member
            • Jan 2009
            • 3231

            #6
            Two Greeks living in Athens were sitting on a bench talking........ and one greek says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........CORFU or the moon?"
            The other Greek turns and says "ELLA RER" can you see CORFU...?????"
            The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

            Comment

            • The LION will ROAR
              Senior Member
              • Jan 2009
              • 3231

              #7
              First Albanian: "Excuse me, but you look like a Greek."
              Second Albanian: "No, Im not Greek - I only look like this because I've just been sick."
              The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

              Comment

              • The LION will ROAR
                Senior Member
                • Jan 2009
                • 3231

                #8
                A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Gruevski sitting over there?"
                The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
                So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
                Bush says, "We're planning WW III."
                And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
                Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Greeks this time and one Albanian."
                The guy exclaimed, "A Albanian? Why kill a Albanian?"
                Bush turns to Gruevski and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Greeks!"
                The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                Comment

                • The LION will ROAR
                  Senior Member
                  • Jan 2009
                  • 3231

                  #9
                  This one is my Favourite.....lol

                  A little Greek boy is in the kitchen when his Greek mother is baking. The Greek child starts to speak in some Macedonian words lern't by a Macedonian friend. He looks at his Greek mom and says, "KA KO SI!"
                  His Greek mother slaps him and tells him to Tell that to his Greek father, and the Greek boy says "KA KO SI!"
                  The Greek father slaps his son and sends him to his Greek grandmother. Before he talks she slaps him too!
                  He goes down to his Greek mother and she says, "Now what did you learn from all of this?"
                  The Greek boy responds: "I have been Macedonian for five minutes and I already hate you damn Greeks!"
                  The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                  Comment

                  • The LION will ROAR
                    Senior Member
                    • Jan 2009
                    • 3231

                    #10
                    da masoz vs da pakistani in criket
                    a maso threw da balll and got one of da pakkiz in da head and he fell...
                    all da masoooz ran ova to see if he is all right and one maso turnd around and said .....
                    ah orite ke bidi pak-ke-stanii
                    The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                    Comment

                    • The LION will ROAR
                      Senior Member
                      • Jan 2009
                      • 3231

                      #11
                      There was a Macedonian,italian and a athenian (greek ) on a plane.. they each had to do something for there country, so the italian jumps of the plane and says " this is for my country!!!!!!!!" and died...it was the Macedonian who turn and KICKS THE ATHENIAN off the plane and says " THATS FOR MY COUNTRY
                      The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                      Comment

                      • The LION will ROAR
                        Senior Member
                        • Jan 2009
                        • 3231

                        #12
                        God didn't make the Greeks..
                        the Westerners made them..
                        with a:-
                        .
                        Dash of Albanian
                        Dash of Turk
                        Splash of Jew
                        Pinch of Slav
                        sprinkle abit of German
                        .
                        .
                        You Pour Ethiopian
                        and stir with a Western COCK..
                        and then you let it simer in HELL for 150years..
                        and there you go..
                        you have GREEK...
                        The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                        Comment

                        • The LION will ROAR
                          Senior Member
                          • Jan 2009
                          • 3231

                          #13
                          Gruevski, Dora Bakoyannis and Kamamanis are travelling by ship to a conference, when they're wrecked on a desert island. Everything is lost in the disaster, they have no food, and so they decide to go their separate ways and scour the island.
                          After three days, Kamamanis still has found nothing to live on, and he is desparate. As he comes to a clearing in the woods, he smells cooking. Can it be...? He looks into the clearing, and sees Gruevski stirring a big pot over a fire. "How can I persude him to give me some of that?", he thinks. "I know! - he hates Greeks and I'm Half Macedonian. So ..."
                          Kamamanis ventures into the clearing and greets Gruevski. "I don't like Dora Bakoyannis , do you?", he says. "Oh, that's a shame", says Gruevski
                          "You won't want any of this stew then, will you?".
                          The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                          Comment

                          • The LION will ROAR
                            Senior Member
                            • Jan 2009
                            • 3231

                            #14
                            A Greek decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior experience.
                            He mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the Greek begins to slip from the saddle.
                            In terror, he grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. he tries to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
                            Finally, giving up his frail grip, he leaps away from the horse to try and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot has become entangled in the stirrup and he is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head is struck against the ground again and again. As his head is battered against the ground, he is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to his great fortune..
                            ..the WESTFIELD manager runs out and unplugs the horse
                            The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                            Comment

                            • The LION will ROAR
                              Senior Member
                              • Jan 2009
                              • 3231

                              #15
                              A dumb Greek was bragging about he's knowledge of History on Greece. He proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me anything about Greece, I know everything."
                              A Macedonian said, "O.K., who was Alexander The Macedonian?" The Greek replied, "Oh, that's easy, He was Gay so he must be Greek..
                              The Macedonians originates it, the Bulgarians imitate it and the Greeks exploit it!

                              Comment

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