Chuck Norris

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  • Risto the Great
    Senior Member
    • Sep 2008
    • 15658

    Chuck Norris

    Go to www.google.com and type in

    google chuck norris

    Then click on "I'm feeling lucky"





    BTW,
    Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.

    Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

    Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

    Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer; too bad he has never cried.

    When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised.

    Chuck Norris is suing NBC for their show Law & Order claiming it is the trademarked names of his left and right legs.

    Some kids piss their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete.

    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

    Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

    There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

    Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

    After taking a steroids test, doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

    There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

    Q: Who would win the race between Ironman and Superman to the moon?
    A: Chuck Norris
    Risto the Great
    MACEDONIA:ANHEDONIA
    "Holding my breath for the revolution."

    Hey, I wrote a bestseller. Check it out: www.ren-shen.com
  • Bij
    Member
    • Oct 2009
    • 905

    #2
    i wonder what chuck norris' favourite burek flavour is?

    Comment

    • Venom
      Member
      • Sep 2008
      • 445

      #3
      Chuck Norris doesn't go pushups, he pushes the world down.
      S m r t - i l i - S l o b o d a

      Comment

      • Venom
        Member
        • Sep 2008
        • 445

        #4
        Wait wait this one is the best:

        Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
        S m r t - i l i - S l o b o d a

        Comment

        • lavce pelagonski
          Senior Member
          • Nov 2009
          • 1993

          #5
          Chuck Norris was borne with his beard and his Texas Walker clothes.
          Стравот на Атина од овој Македонец одел до таму што го нарекле „Страшниот Чакаларов“ „гркоубиец“ и „крвожеден комитаџија“.

          „Ако знам дека тука тече една капка грчка крв, јас сега би ја отсекол целата рака и би ја фрлил в море.“ Васил Чакаларов

          Comment

          • Risto the Great
            Senior Member
            • Sep 2008
            • 15658

            #6
            Originally posted by Venom View Post
            Chuck Norris doesn't go pushups, he pushes the world down.
            Why do these things crack me up so much?
            Risto the Great
            MACEDONIA:ANHEDONIA
            "Holding my breath for the revolution."

            Hey, I wrote a bestseller. Check it out: www.ren-shen.com

            Comment

            • Sovius
              Member
              • Apr 2009
              • 241

              #7
              Chuck Norris doesn't know what color his eyes are because his reflection has never been man enough to show up.

              Comment

              • Risto the Great
                Senior Member
                • Sep 2008
                • 15658

                #8
                Slovaks vote to name bridge 'Chuck Norris'



                Friday, 24 February 2012
                When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
                Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language
                Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

                Chuck Norris jokes have a cult following all over the world. So much so, the US action film star leads the running in public vote for name of bridge to cross Morava river into Austria.

                Slovaks have been voting overwhelmingly in favour of naming a new pedestrian and cycling bridge near their capital after 1980s US action film and TV star Chuck Norris.

                The two other top names in the running for the bridge, which will span the Morava river and cross the border to Austria, were Maria Theresa after an Austro-Hungarian empress and the Devinska cycling bridge in honour of the closest village.

                Norris, a martial arts expert-turned film star, is known for playing tough guy characters in such movies as Lone Wolf McQuade, Missing in Action and The Delta Force.

                The actor's work has become a popular source of kitschy fun among Slovaks and a mainstay for local jokes about macho strength and invincibility.

                The final decision will be up to a regional assembly. But regional governor Pavol Freso has said it would follow the wishes of the people in the internet ballot where Norris leads as the top choice for the bridge's name.

                "The same way as we have so far been building it in full sight of the public, we will seek that the name is accepted by the public as well," he said.

                The voting will run until April. As of Thursday, 1,157 votes have backed Norris, 74% of the total, leaving the runner-up "Maria Theresa Bridge" far behind with 8%.
                Risto the Great
                MACEDONIA:ANHEDONIA
                "Holding my breath for the revolution."

                Hey, I wrote a bestseller. Check it out: www.ren-shen.com

                Comment

                • Soldier of Macedon
                  Senior Member
                  • Sep 2008
                  • 13670

                  #9
                  Chuck Norris is cool, but Bruce Lee would have kicked his arse. The fight scene in the Colosseum for the movie 'Way of the Dragon' is one of the best.
                  In the name of the blood and the sun, the dagger and the gun, Christ protect this soldier, a lion and a Macedonian.

                  Comment

                  • ProMKD
                    Member
                    • Oct 2011
                    • 367

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Soldier of Macedon View Post
                    Chuck Norris is cool, but Bruce Lee would have kicked his arse. The fight scene in the Colosseum for the movie 'Way of the Dragon' is one of the best.
                    Are you talking about the movie "Dragon", or is "way of the dragon" different? In Dragon, he was fighting some guy and the guy sucker kicked him in the back and broke it, and he had to stay in the hospital on some machine that held him in weird positions.

                    Awesome movie!
                    www.everythingmacedonia.com
                    Support tourism to Macedonia!

                    Comment

                    • Risto the Great
                      Senior Member
                      • Sep 2008
                      • 15658

                      #11
                      ProMKD, th film you are talking about is meant to be about Bruce Lee's life story.
                      SoM is talking about Way of the Dragon.
                      Both were great in their own way.

                      Bruce Lee for me too!
                      Risto the Great
                      MACEDONIA:ANHEDONIA
                      "Holding my breath for the revolution."

                      Hey, I wrote a bestseller. Check it out: www.ren-shen.com

                      Comment

                      • George S.
                        Senior Member
                        • Aug 2009
                        • 10116

                        #12
                        both bruce lee & chuck norris are cool.I heard bruce lee could kick 30 times a second in mid air that's amazing.Chuck Norris is also an excellent fighter just raw talent.
                        Last edited by George S.; 02-24-2012, 10:48 PM. Reason: ed
                        "Ido not want an uprising of people that would leave me at the first failure, I want revolution with citizens able to bear all the temptations to a prolonged struggle, what, because of the fierce political conditions, will be our guide or cattle to the slaughterhouse"
                        GOTSE DELCEV

                        Comment

                        • ProMKD
                          Member
                          • Oct 2011
                          • 367

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Risto the Great View Post
                          ProMKD, th film you are talking about is meant to be about Bruce Lee's life story.
                          SoM is talking about Way of the Dragon.
                          Both were great in their own way.

                          Bruce Lee for me too!
                          ah, you're right!

                          Great movie the life-story one was.

                          I'd love to see the other one too.
                          www.everythingmacedonia.com
                          Support tourism to Macedonia!

                          Comment

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